Twitter Twat – Why Do We NOT Need to Twitt the Celebrities

My name is Sarah… and I’m a Twitter reject. I came to accept this only recently although if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been one for nine months now. I have my good days, and my bad days, but ultimately it’s something that I will carry around with me for life. Celebrity tweeting, for me, is the beginning of a slippery downward slope to pathetic saddo. And that’s not something I want to ever be.

I put off joining Twitter for months as I didn’t see the appeal and I didn’t need another social network to spend hours on. However, I was convinced one May morning in 2011 while on the mighty Megabus to Wales to attend a friend’s wedding. It was only then that I came to realise what a powerful tool it really is. At this point I will highlight it hasn’t all been smooth sailing; I became a Twitter reject one month later and it has since snowballed out of control.

The Story

Conor Niland Twiiter

Conor Niland

The day prior to the start of Wimbledon, when the athletes no doubt had nerves in their bodies and determination in their bones, an Irish player by the name of Conor Niland was due to play in the tournament on day one. He was away from home, launching into the unknown and playing where the Greats had played before him for the first time in his career. As a fellow Ireland native and tennis fan, I tweeted him wishing him good luck and to let him know he’d have home grown support there (myself and my friend Trav) to congratulate or commiserate after the match. A nice gesture, I thought, he’ll appreciate that and he’ll probably tweet me back thanking me for making the journey and being so encouraging. Little did I know the whole of Ireland would descend on Court 17 the next day in support of one of our own. And did I get a reply? No. No I did not. Devastated.

Dara O'Briain Twitter

Dara O’Briain

Like the trooper I am, I kept on trucking. I gave celebrity tweeting another go, got back on the horse and went in for the kill. This time I tweeted Dara O’Briain regarding a comment he made during a show I had just seen in Chiswick. He spoke of having “Daddy time” with Pam and her five sisters. No reply. If I had tweeted this to any of my friends they’d have thought it was hilarious and I’m surprised they didn’t pick up on it.

Mary Schmich Twitter

Mary Schmich

Fast forward a couple of hundred tweets later and I’m writing an article about commencement speeches. One of my favourite writers is Mary Schmich, the journalist who wrote the famous “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young” article which was later made into a song called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”. Great song. I tweeted her to express how much I loved the article and how I wish she spoken at my graduation because I really wish she had. Anything? Nada.

As a writer, and in life, you get knocked back and as they say you’ve got to be relentless but it was getting embarrassing now. Obviously not embarrassing enough though because…

Jamie Heaslip Twitter

Jamie Heaslip

Next up. Jamie Heaslip. I cringe at my persistence. Anyway, he likes street art. I like street art. He goes on about it ALL THE TIME so I tweeted him with advice for when he’s next in London. It was sound advice too, not “Come to my house when you’re in London and I’ll show you a good time” although that has crossed my mind once or twice. As per tradition, zilcho.

In each case I wasn’t asking for anything, I wasn’t a loser asking for a retweet or something free. No no, not me. I tweeted these good folk relevant news or something they would find interesting and useful. They’re all things I’d say to them if I knew them and they were in front of me. And surely if I said it to their faces they wouldn’t stare blankly back at me with nothing to say.

I had hit rock bottom. With each celebrity tweet I would wait, check if and when they’d last been online. If they haven’t tweeted themselves they could have seen my tweet but they just as easily might not have seen my tweet. Then they would tweet. They would tweet something and it wasn’t to me. They’d been online, seen my tweet and ignored it. Blatantly ignored it.

It’s official. I have a problem.

They say never meet your idol because they’ll only disappoint. Never tweet them either because you’ll feel like a fool.

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Comments
One Response to “Twitter Twat – Why Do We NOT Need to Twitt the Celebrities”
  1. DanZee says:

    Well, you have to tweet them when they’re on and tweeting, otherwise, they won’t see your tweet.

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