Most Annoying Behaviours in the Underground, P.S.

Metropolitan line

A Practical Guidance for Dummies

Many things have already been said, but the underground still keeps inspiring me every day. Thus, I am dedicating this lovely post to all the people who are experiencing the same wonderful behaviour on their way to work, school or back home. This will be the last time I am touching this saucy topic, I promise. So, please do not hesitate to express your admiration and add whatever points  might feel necessary. I am sure, there are many.

If one day you decide to be particularly obnoxious (let’s just confess, all of us have these precious moments in life) and spoil the miserable existence of other people, here are some brief steps how you can pass a wonderful mood to your brothers and sisters on earth.

  1. To combat boredom, read your book, amazon kindle, and/or texts on your phone while walking , and don’t pay attention to your step. This is totally safe!
  2. Try to walk as slowly as possible, and take as much space in the passway as you need. Let other people the opportunity to follow you at the same pace, without any way to outfoot you.
  3. If you have any friends or kids (even better) travelling with you, don’t miss the chance to hold hands and fill in the whole passage, creating a perfect cork. Now these bastards will not get through. Muahaha!
  4. When approaching the barriers, think of which one suits you beundergroundst, shuffling from one to another, until you stop in the middle and then suddenly rush for the chosen one, giving a forceful push to anyone who might want to use it first.
  5. Going into the train, by no means allow other passengers to get out first. They can leave the train next station, and you are in a hurry.
  6. On the escalator, stand still on the left hand side. If someone has a need to climb it, kindly advise them to use the normal stairs or go to the gym.
  7. Sit comfortably on your chair and pretend dead and/or sleeping if there is an old lady or a pregnant woman around.
  8. If the carriage is full and you could not get hold of the sitting place, try to stand firmly, blocking the way to the sits to the rest of the passengers until the moment you get your sit. Let them know you were the first.
  9. Work with your elbows, pushing the people out of your way. You are the master here.
  10. If the train is about to leave, make a violent motion to squeeze into the doors, and if you fail, put your foot into the doorway in the hope the driver still might let you in.

These are just some basic steps that you can do to pepper your life with exciting adventures in the tube. If you follow it correctly, I am sure the result will not hesitate to follow.

Don’t miss the other parts of the story. Check out Most Annoying Behaviours in the Underground – PART I and Most Annoying Behaviours in the Underground – PART II.

Enjoy your journey! (:


3 Responses to “Most Annoying Behaviours in the Underground, P.S.”
  1. Ranori says:

    У Григория Остера был бы похожий блог, я думаю. Он “Вредные советы” тоже писал)

  2. Нигде не слышала, что у него был блог. А вот вредные советы меня вдохновляют. 🙂

  3. Ranori says:

    Так поэтому и написано, что у Григория Остера был БЫ похожий блог=))

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